HOW TO ACT LIKE A MOBSTER

GUITAR HERO MASTER!

If you've never heard of "Guitar Hero", then congratulations for staying away from the XBOX 360 and PS2 for the past year. The game is very similar to "Dance, Dance Revolution" in that winning and losing depends on following the beat of the chosen song. The harder the level, the more notes there are to "hit" along the way.

With that in mind, watch this 8 year-old master take control on Expert Level.

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THE HISTORY OF VIDEO GAMES

This is a sweet documentary that details the rise of video games from the 1970's and 80's. When you see how this multi-billion dollar industry originated, it might just get your entrepreneurial juices flowing.

My God did I spend too many hours in front of these things!

WOW! AN ORIGINAL MUSIC VIDEO!

Not sure I like the song as much as the video... but it's truly one of a kind!

ANOTHER CLASSIC STAR TREK MASH-UP!

Some of you might remember the Star Trek/Monty Python, or Star Trek/Jefferson Airplane mash-ups I posted a few months back. I guess I can't resist these things!

THE BEER-LAUNCHING FRIDGE!

Thomas Edison, eat your heart out!

EVER WONDER WHAT COPS DO WITH SEIZED PROPERTY?

AMERCIAN GLADIATOR SOUNDS LIKE STEVE O?

This one is just too weird. Take a listen to this interview of American Gladiator Malibu:

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Now compare that to Jackass' own Steve O.

WHAT'S WITH THESE RIGHT-WING DOUCHEBAGS?

Whenever I hear about tragedies like the Virginia Tech shooting, something in my brain forces me to think about what the attack must've been like for victims. On Tuesday morning, after hearing preliminary details, I automatically found myself thinking about groggy college students attending Monday morning classes, and wondered how it would have felt to come face-to-face with an attacker brandishing two handguns?

I wondered how the shooting took place? Did he enter classrooms and shoot from the doorway? Did he approach victims one by one? Did he ever reload his weapons in front of his victims? I know it sounds morbid, but there's something inside of me that finds myself thinking about what I would do in a moment of sheer panic like this.

However, one thing I would NEVER do is question the actions of those who actually dealt with these circumstances. After all, what these kids (and teachers) went through is nothing short of a living nightmare, and only the victims know the circumstances that allowed this deranged man to kill 30+ people during his rampage. However, this inability to second-guess people apparently lessens my chances of ever becoming a right-wing journalist.

You see on Tuesday morning at 11AM, roughly 24 hours after the tragedies took place, John Derbyshire of the National Review wrote this blog entry:

As NRO's designated chickenhawk, let me be the one to ask: Where was the spirit of self-defense here? Setting aside the ludicrous campus ban on licensed conceals, why didn't anyone rush the guy? It's not like this was Rambo, hosing the place down with automatic weapons. He had two handguns for goodness' sake—one of them reportedly a .22.

At the very least, count the shots and jump him reloading or changing hands. Better yet, just jump him. Handguns aren't very accurate, even at close range. I shoot mine all the time at the range, and I still can't hit squat. I doubt this guy was any better than I am. And even if hit, a .22 needs to find something important to do real damage—your chances aren't bad.

Yes, yes, I know it's easy to say these things: but didn't the heroes of Flight 93 teach us anything? As the cliche goes—and like most cliches. It's true—none of us knows what he'd do in a dire situation like that. I hope, however, that if I thought I was going to die anyway, I'd at least take a run at the guy.

Does he really expect people who are being SHOT AT to "count the shots" in order to time their "jumping" of the attacker? Does he also think its plausible for the victims to visually identify one of the two handguns as a .22 caliber and inherently know that the bullets "need to find something important to do real damage"? In case you're wondering, here's photos of THE ACTUAL guns used by the shooter:
Can you immediately spot the .22? Could you do it if the man holding them were shooting at you? My guess is that Mr. Derbyshire couldn't either. (Note: The gun on the right is the .22)

However if one idiot wasn't enough, later that day the National Review article was echoed by another conservative voice. This time it was college right-wing journalist Nathanael Blake from Human Events who, after referencing Derbyshire's entry, wrote this:

Well, there was one who seems to have actively resisted instead of just ducking and barricading doors. "Professor Liviu Librescu, 76, threw himself in front of the shooter when the man attempted to enter his classroom. The Israeli mechanics and engineering lecturer was shot to death, "but all the students lived - because of him," Virginia Tech student Asael Arad - also an Israeli - told Army Radio."

College classrooms have scads of young men who are at their physical peak, and none of them seems to have done anything beyond ducking, running, and holding doors shut. Meanwhile, an old man hurled his body at the shooter to save others.

Something is clearly wrong with the men in our culture. Among the first rules of manliness are fighting bad guys and protecting others: in a word, courage. And not a one of the healthy young fellows in the classrooms seems to have done that.

When Kip Kinkle opened fire in Thurston High School a few years back, he was taken down by students, led by one who was already wounded. Why didn’t that happen here?

Like Derb, I don’t know if I would live up to this myself, but I know that I should be heartily ashamed of myself if I didn’t. Am I noble, courageous and self-sacrificing? I don’t know; but I should hope to be so when necessary.

Wow! After reading the first entry, I didn't think there was any way to further insult the victims of a tragedy like this, but I stand corrected. This Monday Morning Quarterback even has the nerve to imply that those who didn't leap at the attacker should be "heartily ashamed" of themselves. Who the hell raised this kid? And if he's so friggin' "brave", why not ship his ass off to Iraq? Does anyone have a conscience anymore?

However, what I find most disturbing is how both of these morons feel compelled to end their entries. They're not happy with simply dragging these survivors through the mud for their lack of valor, but they also have the balls to imply that their actions in similar circumstances would somehow be different.

Which made me think, "So just what do these "superheros" look like?"

John "Captain Weakchin" Derbyshire

Nathaniel "C. Everett Koop Beard" Blake

Now is it just me, or do these two look like the type of guys who'd dress up like women in order to escape the Titanic? I thought so.

DRUNKEN SLASH GETS A BAD CASE OF THE "SLOW FINGERS"

If you've ever been to a rock concert, you've no doubt seen (and heard) the drill time and time again. After a lull between songs, the lead singer begins to calmly talk about a subject that, in the beginning, seems trivial and insignificant. However after a moment, the crowd begins to realize how this banter is leading toward the introduction of one of the band's biggest hits. As the crowd begins to swell with anticipation, the singer's voice gets louder and louder until he finally screams the title and/or the opening lyric to the song.

Now at this point the band is supposed to burst into action, allowing the singer, band, and crowd to ride the electric wave of of energy that defines a great live performance. However these plans can all go down the crapper if your lead guitarist has spent his pre-show hours over-indulging in massive quantities of drugs and alcohol.

WHITE CHICKS AND GANG SIGNS

Awww snap... from now on I'll bet white chicks will think twice before curling up their fingers for photos!

GARY BUSEY ON HUNTER S. THOMPSON

My buddy Jeff worships the late Hunter S. Thompson... but he's also fond of the lovably whacked-out-of-his-friggin-skull Gary Busey. I'm pretty sure his head will explode while watching this rambling interview of Gary Busey as he comments on the life, spirit, and writings of the famed Gonzo journalist.

YEAH, I LAUGHED AT IT

I have to admit that, while I'm not a huge Family Guy fan, the voice work by Seth MacFarlane is often impeccable. Peter's turn here had me on the floor.

A POKER NIGHTMARE!

"High Stakes Poker" is a TV program where poker's greatest players play with their own money in a weekly cash game. This hand between Daniel Negreanu and Gus Hansen is the largest single pot in the history of the show... and features an unbelievable turn of luck.

BILL MAHER ON "ELITE" POLITICAL APPOINTMENTS

It's funny... and absolutely disturbing all at the same time! Wow!

If you'd like to read more about Monica Goodling... HERE'S HERE WIKIPEDIA PAGE.

As Maher points out, Regent University is a "Tier 4" law school, and is in essentially a tie for 136th out of 170 schools surveyed by US News and World Report.

On the other hand, Goodling's attorney, John Dowd, attended Emory Law School in Atlanta, Georgia. In case you're wondering, Emory is a "Tier 1" school which ranks #22 in the very same rankings.

Isn't is funny that God (and religion in general) becomes less important when a lengthy incarceration becomes a possibility?

WILL FERRELL DEALS WITH HIS LANDLORD

Ouch! Pearl is one tough customer. (WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE!)

With props to the new comedy video site FUNNY OR DIE... however their embeddable player sucks balls.

CONAN O'BRIEN HANGS WITH HUNTER S. THOMPSON

Conan O'Brien - Hunter S Thompson
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DUMBEST... IDEA... EVER!

Apparently this guy's NEVER heard of momentum.

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A MONKEY BATHING A CAT

What? Like I need a reason to post this?!

LADDER SAFTEY... OR NOT

CLICK IMAGE TO SEE ENTIRE GALLERY

Here's an entire gallery of ladder improvisations that would give any OSHA representative nightmares. Some unbelievably dangerous stuff here!

RICKY GERVAIS ON CREATIONISM

MY FAVORITE MADTV SKETCH EVER!

I couldn't believe my luck tonight as I stumbled upon this gem of a sketch that features Will Sasso as Elvis. It was presented as a "runner" in three parts when it originally aired, with each segment documenting the rapid decline in "The King's" mental health. Truly one of the few subtle comedic pieces in Mad's 12 (twelve, really?) year run.

HERE'S ONE WAY TO CHILDPROOF YOUR HOUSE...

Hey, I think that's MY dog?!

BRITISH JOURNALIST TAGS ALONG WITH THE "PHELPS CLAN"

I've posted before about the Westboro Baptist Church and their propensity for picketing deceased soldiers' funerals with signs like "God Hates Fags", "Fags = Amercia", and "Thank God for Dead Soldiers". See the logic in their argument? Me neither. However, neither did this meek BBC journalist who signed up to live with Shirley Phelps and her family for a few days.

WARNING: THE LANGUAGE IS NOT WORK-SAFE

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WHY CATS DON'T WORK IN OFFICES

Cat Vs Printer - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

ANOTHER DRUNK DRIVING FATALITY

Okay, so this might seem like deja vu after my Bill O'Reilly rant last night, but there's another prominent story from this week that demands attention.

This past Wednesday, "Porky's" and "A Christmas Story" director Bob Clark (67), and his 22 year-old son were killed when a 24 year-old drunk driver hit them head-on. Today it was revealed that the drunk driver was not only behind the wheel with a .24 blood alcohol level (that's three times the .08 limit), but that he was also an illegal immigrant with prior convictions for prostitution in 2005.

To add even more insult to injury, Clark was driving in a 1997 Infiniti while Hector Manuel Velazquez-Nava was riding in his brand new 2007 GMC Yukon. The Hollywood director and his son were trapped in the wreckage of their car and died at the scene, while Velazquez-Nava and his passenger sustained only minor injuries. The drunk driver even walked around at the scene.

Now is it too politically incorrect to ask how a 24 year-old WITHOUT a drivers license, and no legal documentation of citizenship can even purchase (or lease) a 2007 GMC Yukon? As you can see HERE, this car has a MSRP of $35,265-$44,345. Heck, I don't think most LEGAL 24 year-olds could afford such a car, let alone someone with limited employment opportunities. Secondly, how bizarre is it that these drunk drivers always seem to survive the horrific wrecks they cause?

In case you were wondering, a 2007 GMC Yukon received a FIVE-STAR rating for frontal impact... while the 1997 Infiniti QX4 received only THREE STARS.

Again, this is another person with NO LEGAL right to be in this country, who has a documented history of breaking the law INSIDE the United States! Just how long do ACTUAL CITIZENS have to put up with this?

I'm just asking.

COTTON CANDY FIGHT GOES WRONG!

This insipid altercation features Sean "Son of Rod" Stewart vs. Randy "Son of Aaron" Spelling.

Guys, why bring something as pure as "Fairy Floss" into your dark world?

Notice that Sean repeatedly calls Randy a "mamma's boy" in an apparent attempt to ridicule him for not living life like a man. However, a little digging into Sean's private world reveals these tasty nuggets of information:

Stewart is a recovering drug addict, he is unguarded and amusing, sometimes unintentionally so. He lives in a guesthouse on the Beverly Park estate of his father, who will occasionally be seen on the show.

In a genial and profanity-laced conversation at Koi, Sean Stewart proved his mom's point. When asked what he's done since high school, he said, "Do you honestly want to know? Lot of rehab. Lot of drugs. Heroin and pills. Lot of alcohol. And that's about it."

Wha? A celebrity kid is a drug-addict? What's this world coming to?

THANKS TO DEFAMER

A CASINO WITH BALLS!

CLICK PICTURE TO VISIT HOWNOTTOWIN.COM

Ad campaigns come in many shapes and sizes, but every once and a while there's one that makes you scratch your head and say, "What the F*ck?" One such concept recently kicked off for something called the Pala Casino (in Temecula, CA). Say what you will about the concept, but it definitely has BALLS. I mean who's ever heard of a casino ad that challenges it's patrons to AVOID gambling?

The campaign is centered around one Hoyt Monroe, a late-40's self-described expert at "How NOT to Win" at casinos. (NOTE: It could also be called "How NOT to lose"... but where's the cajones in that!) In the ads, Hoyt spends his time taking in the "finer points" of Pala Casino, like enjoying the Spa, sleeping late in the luxurious rooms, and eating at all the fine restaurants. They've even built a slick-looking website dedicated to Hoyt's teachings, and are offering a free DVD to everyone in the So Cal area.

I gotta tip my hat to people (and businesses) that take chances like this.

O'REILLY AND GIRALDO MAKE ASSES OF THEMSELVES

Okay, so I'm not a fan of Bill O'Reilly. There, I said it. I usually find his show to be nothing but him espousing his views through the guise of conducting an interview, and when his guests resist, they're usually shouted down like a six year-old in the cereal aisle.

However tonight Bill's guest decided to shout back, and for once his opposition's microphone wasn't cut off. That's because the man on the other side of the desk was fellow Fox News contributor Giraldo Rivera. Get ready for some serious fireworks.

"Now what subject could cause such a ruckus," you ask? How about the tragic killing of two teenage girls rear-ended by a drunk driver, while they were stopped at a red light. Then add in the fact that the drunk driver is an illegal alien, and that in the past year he'd been arrested TWICE for public drunkenness AND was convicted of a D.U.I. JUST TWO MONTHS EARLIER?!

Then add in this little gem for good measure:

Ramos brother, also in the U.S. illegally, told the Virginian-Pilot he had spoken with his brother by phone prior to the accident and warned him not to drive after learning he had been drinking.

Now I'm as "liberal" as the next guy, but I find myself agreeing with O'Reilly on this issue one-hundred percent. Just what in the hell does it take to get deported from this friggin' country? Lord knows I can't waltz into Canada, Mexico, or any other country and start breaking laws left and right without getting kicked out, so why do we allow people to do so here?

Now some people are trying to make this a "race issue" by bringing up past comments from O'Reilly, but for myself it has no bearing on the discussion. If this were a white British person who overstayed his visa and remained here after a DUI conviction I'd be just as pissed. This guy's ACTIONS made him a danger to the people of the United States, not his skin color. And his ACTIONS should have had him deported... not back behind the wheel with the opportunity to take innocent lives.

Wow! When did this blog get all serious?

DAVID LYNCH ON "PRODUCT PLACEMENT IN MOVIES"

Say what you will, but his answer is direct, clear, and succinct.

A DRAMATIC READING OF A BREAK-UP LETTER

I don't know why this made me laugh... but it did. It would seem that anger, jealousy, and rage are the enemies of good grammar.

CLICK ABOVE TO WATCH/LISTEN

EVER WONDER HOW THIS WHOLE "INTERNET THING" GOT STARTED?

Here's a fascinating PBS doc that takes the viewer, step-by-step, through the infant stages of the World Wide Web. Oh yeah, and there's too many interesting nerds to count in this one. A veritable people watch-a-palooza!

I'M 69% GEEK!

Heh heh... sixty-nine.
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A GREAT POKER DOCUMENTARY

Here's a 45-minute documentary that goes behind the 1999 World Series of Poker Main Event. It also does a nice job of explaining the history of the great event, as well as some of the fascinating (and eccentric) people who've kept it alive for some 37 years.

Keep in mind that 1999's tournament had a then record of 393 players, while the 2006 WSOP had some 8,773 entrants.

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MY FAVORITE "SPONGEBOB" EPISODE EVER!

From season three, episode #306: "No Weenies Allowed". I particularly love Spongebob's wrestling match with a new bottle of ketchup. Did I mention my nephew (Tyler) loves this show too? The kid's got taste.

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