SOME SERIOUS "CHIP SKILLS"

I'm currently addicted to "The World Series of Poker" coverage on ESPN. They seemingly have endless amounts of coverage from just about every poker tournament known to man. And in addition to being fascinated with the game, I also find myself staring in amazement at the endless "chip tricks" the pros use at the table.

However, NONE of them have anything on this guy:

What do you want to bet that this dude is a horrible player?

BEST... PANHANDLING SIGN... EVER!

TYSON: THE SKATEBOADING BULLDOG

Personally, I think I have the coolest dog in the world... but this mutt might be giving him a run for his money. Tyson has been featured on the web many times, and never fails to showcase his incredible skills on a skateboard. However, now his owners have decided to give him his own kick-ass website! And HERE'S THE BEST VIDEO OF TYSON!

It's kinda hard to believe that "skateboardingbulldog.com" was still available in 2007... but no skateboarding bulldog deserved it more than Tyson.

A NEW WAY TO FEED THE HOMELESS!

A few months back, my brother introduced me to the genius of Tom Mabe. Usually, he spends his time torturing telemarketers... but recently he's branched out towards helping the homeless get the food they need.

Isn't it amazing what you can get done with a phone, an authoritative voice, and some balls?

"DEATH AWAITS YOU ALL, WITH NASTY, BIG, POINTY TEETH!"

I have to thank my brother, Ryan, for exposing me to the genius that is (or was) Monty Python. Tim the Enchanter always makes me laugh.

A COOL NEW WAY TO WEB SURF...

If you've never heard of "Stumble Upon", then you've truly been missing something special. I often wonder how to find cool, interesting, and just plain weird websites without knowing how to search for them. Sure you can find some by frequenting blogs (like this one) or having a friend recommend the latest darling of the internet community, but now there's a pain-free way to be on the cutting edge of web surfing.

Stumble Upon is an add-on to either Firefox or Internet Explorer, and creates an added banner along the top of your web browser window. When you sign up for the service, it asks you what your interests are. Comedy? Graphic Design? Dogs? Chilean Amputees? It doesn't judge.

Then, whenever you feel like it, you simply press the "Stumble!" button and voila... it takes you to a new (and hopefully interesting) site. It's like channel surfing for the web.

I've found more cool things in the past few days, and it's quickly filling my bookmarks as we speak. Here are a few of my faves!
MR. PICASSO HEAD
Some wacky CHARACTERS HOLDING HANDS page!
A way cool way to listen to music called PANDORA INTERNET RADIO
THIS DAY IN MUSIC
THE BUSCEMI CLUB

Oh yeah, and they also do video searches the same way! Very cool indeed!

CLEARIFICATION - BY DEMITRI MARTIN

Comedian Demitri Martin has been busy as of late. He's released a new CD, had a Comedy Central special, and even made a kick ass website to support his short film (or "webisode") endeavors.

Here's his initial "webisode" entitled A RARE CONDITION:

You can also visit his website CLEARIFICATION, by clicking the word "clearification" that I just typed. That's the 1st "clearification"... not the one in quotes. Wait, now there's TWO instances of "clearification" in quotes. Now THREE! Okay, I'm gonna stop typing now.

CONAN: MEET THE PRESS FOR IDIOTS

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM DAVE BARRY

By the way, I couldn't agree with #9 more.

Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn—by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

NOT ONLY IS "THE OFFICE" FUNNY AS HELL...

...it also appears that it's the most fun workplace environment in the world! God I'm jealous!

GEORGE CARLIN: OWNERS OF THE COUNTRY

Wow! This makes me happy... and sad... all at the same time.

BRITNEY SPEARS SHAVES HEAD IN RESPONSE TO MEDIA PRESSURE...

...and in response, the media goes into an "OH MY GOD! BRITNEY'S BALD!" FRENZY!

ROBERT SMIGEL ON DISPLAY... YET AGAIN!

For regular readers of this blog... you're well aware of my non-gay crush on prolific comedy writer Robert Smigel. Well, here's another example of his evil genius!

PEOPLE WALKING ON ICE... ALWAYS FUNNY

It might reside somewhere between a kick in the nuts, and a dog dragging his ass on the carpet... but watching people struggle to keep their balance always makes me laugh.

JOE ROGAN VS. CARLOS MENCIA

Okay, for those of you who don't know, comedian Carlos Mencia has been accused of stealing material from other comics for years. In fact, George Lopez dedicated nearly a half-hour of his Howard Stern appearance last year to taking on Mencia's "borrowing" of his jokes for an HBO special.

Another vocal anti-Mencia comic is Joe Rogan, who's created a few videos over the last year in an attempt to vilify Carlos. However last Saturday night Rogan decided to take it up a notch by joining Mencia on-stage and accusing him to his face. It's actually an eye-opener to see a struggling, unfunny comic try to verbally joust without his "prepared material". Enjoy!

MERYL STREEP SHE AIN'T...

This is another one of those internet videos where we start viewing with little (or no) perspective on what is happening.

From what I can gather though, some woman at a City Council meeting has just finished her testimony, and as she walks past another lady in the front row, taps her in the back of the head with her papers. After a few seconds, the "assaulted" woman decides it would be in her best interest if she acted like she'd just been shot in the head. She could use a few more acting lessons though... and a sense of timing wouldn't hurt either.

BARACK OBAMA SLAMS AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTER

Look, I don't know enough about Barack Obama to say whether he'd be a good President or not. But anyone who makes conservatives around the world lose their mind over simply announcing his candidacy can't be all bad. First, we had right wing bloggers making up "radical muslim" lies about Obama. Then Fox News "outed" the Senator from Illinois for the crime of smoking. And now Australia's conservative prime minister (and staunch Bush supporter) John Howard had this to say about Mr. Obama's recent statements on the failures in Iraq:

"I think that (his policies) will just encourage those who want to completely destabilize and destroy Iraq, and create chaos and a victory for the terrorists to hang on and hope for an Obama victory," Howard said on Nine Network television.

"If I were running al-Qaida in Iraq, I would put a circle around March 2008 and be praying as many times as possible for a victory, not only for Obama but also for the Democrats."

Now I know we're used to simple, clumsy, and sometimes just plain stupid words from our political leaders. However, I was encouraged by Obama's response to Mr. Howard's baseless and predictable "the terrorists love Democrats" speech.

"I think it's flattering that one of George Bush's allies on the other side of the world started attacking me the day after I announced," Senator Obama said in Iowa.

"I would also note that we have close to 140,000 troops in Iraq, and my understanding is Mr Howard has deployed 1400, so if he is … to fight the good fight in Iraq, I would suggest that he calls up another 20,000 Australians and sends them to Iraq."

"Otherwise it's just a bunch of empty rhetoric."

You know, it amazes me that conservatives consistently speak about the terrorists as if they know what they're thinking... and yet are ALWAYS WRONG when it comes to predicting their behavior. Does the statement, "We'll be greeted as liberators," ring a bell?

THANKS TO CROOKSANDLIARS.COM

THIS DUDE HAS MADE THE ACCORDION AS COOL AS POSSIBLE...

...and yet it still ain't that cool. Can someone get this guy a piano?!

PIT BULL VS. KITTEN

This should put to rest the idea that Pit Bulls are "naturally" aggressive.

THE BEST OF ALEC BALDWIN ON "30 ROCK"...

If you haven't seen the NBC comedy "30 Rock" this season... get in a time machine and transport back to September 2006 to catch the entire season. Or you could just set your Tivo to "Season Pass" and select the "repeats and first run" option. Whatever's easiest. At any rate, one of the main reasons to watch is the ever hilarious Alec Baldwin as GE Executive Jack Donaghy. Here's some of his finer moments so far:

ONE OF MY FAVORITE VIDEOS/SONGS FROM THE 1980'S

Even though the video is an obvious homage to "The Road Warrior", Tom Petty's "You Got Lucky Babe" was an instant classic back in 1982.

SOME MORE GENIUS FROM CONAN O'BRIEN...

Here's two of my favorite short-form clips from "Late Night".
MUPPET FACES OF DEATH

CAT ACCOUNTANTS