IN CASE YOU MISSED IT...

Here's Conan O'Brien's musical opening to the Emmy Awards.

TWO FUNNY VIDEOS...

Okay, there's no "lead up" to this. No "theme" to speak of. These are simply funny videos. First, a dude gets whacked (thanks to his buddy) by a tree:

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Second, what might be the worst local commercial... EVER!

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E=MC... WTF!

These Japanese scientists create a wacky (Asimo-like) Albert Einstein robot. Something you HAVE to see to appreciate.

DEF LEPPARD: PHOTOGRAPH

Ah, the images of my youth.

HOW FLOYD LLOYD SPENDS HIS SPARE TIME

This is Floyd Lloyd, and he's on a mission to get celebrities to utter the phrase: "Floyd Lloyd Rocks". Here's a six-minute video of his various celebrity encounters. They include: Nick Nolte, Collin Farrell, John Malkovich, Russell Crowe, Dustin Hoffman, and many others. It's funny to see how these various celebrities handle this strange (but simple) request.

I just love Director John Waters (in perfect Director's form) asking "Ready?" prior to saying the line.

If you're interested... check out www.floydlloydrocks.com. Oh, and for those of you who were wondering... yes, it's the same Floyd Lloyd who played the "Scientist" in Director Jason Hack's "Day X".

WHAT THE HELL?

Here's some pleasant Sunday reading for you:

Experts warn U.S. is coming apart at the seams

WASHINGTON — A pipeline shuts down in Alaska. Equipment failures disrupt air travel in Los Angeles. Electricity runs short at a spy agency in Maryland.

None of these recent events resulted from a natural disaster or terrorist attack, but they may as well have, some homeland security experts say. They worry that too little attention is paid to how fast the country's basic operating systems are deteriorating.

"When I see events like these, I become concerned that we've lost focus on the core operational functionality of the nation's infrastructure and are becoming a fragile nation, which is just as bad — if not worse — as being an insecure nation," said Christian Beckner, a Washington analyst who runs the respected Web site Homeland Security Watch.

The American Society of Civil Engineers last year graded the nation "D" for its overall infrastructure conditions, estimating that it would take $1.6 trillion over five years to fix the problem.

(continue reading)

Thank God we've spent 310+ BILLION on a war that 61% of the American people oppose, while our own country is slipping into disrepair. Looks like somebody might have "misunderestimated" the problem.

Maybe we could perfect our own country, before we start exporting "freedom" around the globe?

A POWERFUL PUBLIC SERVICE ADVERT FROM DENMARK

Director Fredrik Callinggard uses a cheery folk song with some powerful imagery in this PSA entitled "Speeding Hurts".

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THIS STRAY TIRE DRIVES BETTER THAN 90% OF LOS ANGELINOS

HA!

SHATNER'S "GET A LIFE" SKETCH (WITH SPANISH SUBTITLES)

I saw a piece of this sketch during the Comedy Central roast, and set out to find it on YouTube. Now my Spanish readers (if I have any) can enjoy it as well!

HOW "ANGRY" IS YOUR CITY?

Yes, they've compiled more data (high blood pressure, violent crimes, workplace deaths, traffic congestion, etc.) in order to tell us which US cities are the most angry. And the winner is? Orlando, Florida. That's right... even with Disneyworld (the so-called "Happiest Place on Earth"), the surrounding area still checks in at #1. In fact, Florida has FIVE of the top twelve cities on the list. See? That's what you get when you elect a Bush to be your governor.

Oh, and for all the Oregon readers... Portland clocked in at #96.

READ THE ARTICLE (AND SEE THE LIST) HERE

German version of "Millionaire" has software problem...

I'VE BEEN DRAWING MORE LATELY...

...and here's a "doodle" I took into Photoshop for some upgrading. It makes me happy that I'll never endure another "gym class" in this lifetime.

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WAIT... IS THAT PART OF THE WORKOUT?

Gym Fart - video powered by Metacafe

SCHIZOPHRENIA ON DISPLAY AT CITY COUNCIL MEETING

Thanks local government! If it weren't for you... this guy would be ranting at a Greyhound Bus Station somewhere.

THANKS TO SCREENHEAD.COM

THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED

For years, the MPAA has controlled (to a certain extent) what we see in movie theaters. This means that a handful of people are trusted with rating all the movies we see. But who are these people? That what the new IFC Documentary "This Film Is Not Yet Rated" is all about. You see, one filmmaker has taken it upon himself to find out who decides what is a "G", "PG", "PG-13", "R", or "NC-17" movie. And he's hired a private investigator to help him out.

WATCH THE TRAILER

WATCH THE FUNNY ANIMATION ABOUT THE RATINGS SYSTEM

DAVE GROHL "SNARKILY" SINGS LIKE SCOTT STAPP

I don't know where this came from... but it sounds like some radio sound check (or interview) or something. At any rate, Dave Grohl busts out his best "Creed-esque" vocal and over-enunciates every single word.
Arms Wide Open - Dave Grohl

HOW ABOUT SOME HOWARD STERN?

1st: How about Howard appearing on Late Night with David Letterman (circa 1984):

Howard Stern in puppet form. Funny stuff.

FUNNY "SHREDDING" LESSON

Why do I get the feeling that the original audio would have been just as funny?

FLIP BOOK ANIMATION: PEE-WEE

22 year-old Ben Zurawski makes flip books. This one's my favorite:

"ROCK ON BROTHER!"

Okay, so yesterday I posted the "rocker guy" playing the guitar, and ended the post with the phrase, "Rock on brother". Now I'm not too proud to admit that those particular words are part of my regular repertoire. And that got me started with the question, "When did I start saying, 'Rock on brother'?"

The answer came like a flash... and a laugh. You see, a few years back there was this genius campaign for Holiday Inn that featured a mid-30's son who moves in with his parents (and grandma) and starts treating the place like a hotel. This eventually morphed into him living at an actual hotel and, in this instance, coming across a business man who utters the infamous three words.

Take a look:

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Here's two earlier commercials from the same campaign. More on the actor playing the "son" in a bit:

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Now something might be wrong with me, but I find this character to be absolutley hilarious. The "slacker" actor has amazing timing, delivery... everything. So why don't we see this guy as much as Dax Shepard is jammed down our throats? Simple. He's a friggin' farmer who lives in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Okay, to be honest, he's a standup comedian and filmmaker (who also farms) who lives in Lincoln, Nebraska. You can read more about Mr. Brockley here. You can also pray that this guy gets the success that should come from talent like this.

You gotta love a guy who names his dog "Chicken", right? Rock on brother!

KNOW YOUR 6'8" LITTLE LEAGUERS: AARON DURLEY

Aaron Durley is a 6'8", 256-pound first baseman for the Saudi Arabian little league team. The 13 year-old also sports size 19 sneakers. For reference, when Shaquille O'Neal was 13, he was two inches shorter than Durley.

Here's a good story on the how/why/where of American kids playing for Saudi Arabia. Oh, and there's more information on "the giant kid" too.

"THE SHAT" ROASTS BACK!

If you didn't see the "Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner"... you missed out. The entire thing was hilarious... even though Andy Dick kept licking everyone. Shatner took the whole thing in stride, and then wrapped up the ceremony with this vicious retort. Awesome!

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Greg Giraldo's "roasting time" is HERE.

(ATTENTION: THIS STUFF IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK!)

G-FORCE TRAINING: THE FACE PULLER

Okay, this video is the prime reason why some people go into the military, while others sit in their darkened offices and make snarky comments about celebrities.

LISTEN UP! THIS GUY HAS TIME-TRAVELED FROM THE EARLY 1990'S...

...in an attempt to bring back the lyric-less, guitar solo artist (hat tip to Joe Satriani & Eric Johnson), as well as the whole flannel "dude skirt" look that died with Kurt Cobain. At any rate, it's nice to know that guitar skills like this can get you a sweet room at the local Red Roof Inn. Rock On Brother!

A BLURB FROM THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER (via Defamer)

Marlon Wayans will star in the high-concept DreamWorks comedy Pretty Ugly, in which he'll play a "handsome lifetsyle mogul who wakes up hideously ugly because of a curse".

Marlon endured endless hours of make-up and prosthetics for his caucasian female "change" in White Chicks. God knows how much time they'll spend attempting to make him look handsome.

FROM THE "DUDE, IT'S JUST A BILLBOARD... MAN!" FILE:

These teenage stoners really need a "go to" dealer. They resort to stealing some fake "Land of the Lost" size buds from a highway advertisment for the Showtime drama "Weeds". By the way, out of the two shows I just mentioned, "Weeds" comes in a distant third.

THANKS TO GOLDENFIDDLE.COM

MAAKIES: DRINKY THE CROW

"The Maakies" are created by Tony Millionaire. He's got this great vintage cartoon style and has tons of Maakies strips on his site. This short animation originally aired on SNL some years back and I've spent a few months trying to track it down. For some reason... I thought it was called "The Oddies"... but finally tracked it down through the trademark "dook, dook, dook" drinking sound made by Drinky the Crow.

At any rate, here it is. Maybe there's a "life lesson" in here... and then again, maybe not.

FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE!

I must confess that I'm partial to College Football over the "Pro" version. But I couldn'e resist posting this musical compilation of The NFL's "Greatest Hits".

MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF HAVING A SMALL PENIS

This one's a special "Country Music" edition. You see, Troy Lee Gentry is one of those macho, hat wearin', All-American, ass kickin' country singer types. His videos are chock full of macho images of Troy (or his alter ego) protecting family, God, the military, and everything else "those damn liberals" hate.

However, in Mr. Gentry's quest to appear tough... it seems he may have broken the law by shooting a tame bear in an enlosed cage, and then staging the kill to appear to have happened in the wild. Oh, and just to be "extra tough", he shot the animal with a bow and arrow so as to extend it's last painful minutes on Earth. Yee Haw!

From Forbes:

Troy Lee Gentry, of the country singing duo Montgomery Gentry, has been accused of killing a tame black bear that federal officials say he tagged as killed in the wild.

Authorities allege that Gentry purchased the bear from Greenly, a wildlife photographer and hunting guide, then killed it with a bow and arrow in an enclosed pen on Greenly's property in October 2004.

Gentry allegedly paid about $4,650 for the bear, named Cubby. The bear's death was videotaped, and the tape later edited so Gentry appeared to shoot the animal in a "fair chase" hunting situation, the government alleges.

Hey, how about we go out with a little Troy Lee ditty called "You Do Your Thing". (WARNING: This video contains quite possibly the most simplistic and stupid lyrics of all time!)

THANKS TO JESUS' GENERAL

SISKEL AND EBERT HATED EACH OTHER

Here's twelve minutes of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert tearing into each other during a promo shoot for their "At the Movies" show. Apparently arguing like this causes cancer... so take heed the next time you constantly snip at your business partner.

The 6:00 mark is where this thing gets good.

RICHARD PRYOR IS SMACKED OUT! (CIRCA 1980)

BUDDYHEAD.COM offers up this amazing interview where Richard Pryor is totally fucked up on cocaine (or truth serum), and opens up on all sorts of shit. Notice how the interviewer tries repeatedly to steer Pryor towards more "safe" subjects, and Richard will have none of it.

Anna Nicole Smurf

I gotta thank my brother (Ryan) for this one. While in Oregon (last week) he showed me this bit of Robert Smigel's animated genius from a few years back. And since I'd recently re-posted Anna Nicole's outrageous behavior... he was gracious enough to allow me to post the video here. Even though his own blog is kicking ass.

Can you say, "Knee Surgery"?

These guys jump, bounce, and fall off various objects while the "Super Mario" theme plays in the background. I'd say they have a good 5-10 before knee-replacements will be needed.

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LINK WILL REDIRECT TO DEVILDUCKY.COM

DUBYA'S GREATEST HITS.

They're all here! Thanks to "Scarborough Country:.

AMAZING JUGGLER!

18 year-old Vova Galchenko is one of (if not "THE") best jugglers in the world. This is a music video that highlights his skills with various different items/styles of juggling. Insane!

And if you thought this was an overnight success... his father has posted a video from nearly 10 years ago that shows Vova juggling as a child.

You can see more of Vova and his sister, Olga, HERE. They're a juggling team too!

ARJ & POOPY IN "UNLUCKY IN LOVE"

Comedian Arj Barker and Disney animator Bernard Derriman have been making episodes of Arj and Poopy" for sometime now. As you may have guessed by the artwork, "Poopy" is Arj's cat who communicates only by farting.

These episodes are beautifully animated, and some are quite friggin' funny. Follow the link below to see their Award Winning short "Unlucky in Love"... and I'll link a couple of other favories as well.

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OTHER SWEET EPISODES:
VENETIAN ROWING MACHINE
EXPERIMENTATION

SEE MORE FUN STUFF AT ARJ AND POOPY'S WEBSITE.

BRILLIANT "GRAND THEFT AUTO-ESQUE" AD

The formerly small ad agency Wieden & Kennedy began in 1982. It counted Nike as it's first client and has produced 20+ years of inventive (and ground breaking) material.

This Coca-Cola ad is no exception:

Oh yeah... did I mention they began (and are based) in Portland, Oregon?

WILLIAM SHATNER: I AM CANADIAN!

It's safe to say that no one does it like "The Shat"!

And here's the original commercial for which this parody was spawned.

A "Star Trek" & "Monty Python" mashup.

I found this over at the "Evilutionary Virtual Log"... and even they have no idea who did it. But it features Captain Pike, and the "bonk bonk kid", and many other classic Star Trek characters.

This brought back so many memories of sitting on a blue stool, in my underwear, getting my hair cut on a Sunday evening and watching classic "Star Trek". Oh, I should've mentioned... that's just another undignified moment of my childhood. Remind me to tell you about the saga of "Kojak Jack" the next time I see you.

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A MUST WATCH!

The television show "Scare Tactics" has done some extreme stuff... but this prank might have been the best ever. In this clip... a PETA activist (Bryant) meets a three foot-tall Rat Monster and... well, just watch. Oh, by the way... the ACTUAL SHOW will re-air ONE TIME ONLY this Thursday night at 10PM on SciFi. You gotta see this one FULL SIZE!
(NOTE: IT'S A TWO-PARTER)


THANKS TO RYAN

I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS...

...but things should be back to normal by Monday. Until then... enjoy this Colbert Show clip:

CHECK THIS OUT...

My brother Ryan has been a regular contributor to this blog (both comments and content suggestions) for some time now. So it was only a matter of time before he created one of his own. It's called "Midgets & Serial Killers" and should be judged accordingly by that name. Here's how he describes what readers/viewers might find there:

Alright, I admit it. Strange people intrigue me, always have. I want to figure out how they function in a world not quite made for them, how they survive day to day. But they also make me nervous. Very nervous. That's why I watch them at a distance. From across the food court, perhaps, while pretending to read the newspaper. Or from the safety of my car. What I'm getting at is I'm no Jane Goodall. See, I don't want to be accepted into their social groups, or even make conversation with them. And I sure as hell don't want them touching me. I just want to kick back, in hiding, and observe them. So give me a misshapen priest, or a paraplegic Eskimo, or (my white whale) a MIDGET SERIAL KILLER and I'm happy. Just keep them at a safe distance and, for God's sake, don't let them make eye contact!

If you like the content there... you're welcome. If you're offended... you've been warned.

DOG RETRIEVES ROMAN CANDLE

MEL GIBSON: SIGNS OF ANTI-SEMITISM

Keeping the Mel Gibson thing going. Here's an amazing faux-trailer for M. Night Shamagalaga...ian's "Signs".

HARVARD M.D. "WEIGHS IN" ON MEL GIBSON'S FEELINGS

QUESTION: "COULD ALCOHOL MAKE US SAY THINGS WE DON'T BELIEVE?"
ANSWER: "NO."

HAT TIP: DEFAMER

DAVE CHAPPELLE: MAC SPOOF

It's been parodied a million times... but none better than this:

GUY LOSES "MILLIONAIRE" ON 1ST QUESTION

If anyone knows this guy (he's from Oregon), I'm sorry. He guesses so quickly on the 1st question that he blows it immediatley. I'm sure there was some sleepless nights after this one.

HOME JEEVES!

INSANE!

For the first time on this planet, Travis Pastrana does a double backflip on a motorcycle. Pretty frickin' amazing!

JOE CARTOON PRESENTS: 10 PUMP BB-GUN

Joe Cartoon has been entertaining web surfers for over 10 years now. His latest (semi-interactive) animation is pretty frickin' neat... and violent. Just how we like 'em:

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OREGON: "CALIFORNIA'S CANADA" OR "WASHINGTON'S MEXICO"?

Stephen Colbert addresses Oregon in his rant on Wikipedia. Hilarious!

THANKS TO SCREENHEAD

WHEN NERVES & VICODIN COLLIDE!

Thanks Anna Nicole Smith. You might not act like this anymore (for now)... but we always have the memories:

LIVE TV: THE QVC WAY

Because QVC is constantly selling in real time, it's one of the few places left where live TV can get weird.
This one I like to call "Kitana Stab". It's self-expanatory.

Here's how NOT to sell a ladder.

And finally... this guy needs some help distinguishing a moth from a horse.

Vinny "T": The Furniture Guy

In response to my other "blooper videos", my brother Ryan inquired about this little gem. I came across it years ago, after getting a copy of AFV videos that were "too extreme" for the ABC Sunday Night show. However, someone already had it posted at YouTube.

Here, Vinny thinks it's a good idea to strum a guitar... walk across the top of an 18-wheeler... and then jump onto a stack of mattresses atop a stretch limo. I swear, you couldn't dream this one up if you tried.

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A GREAT BLOOPER

I laugh harder at home video bloopers than any other form of comedy. There's something about watching real people fall, trip, bump their heads, etc., that reaches deep down into my soul and creates a laughter I can't stop. Maybe it's because there's no better comedic "actor" than someone who's having an honest reaction to an actual situation. Or maybe it's because my Dad laughs so hard at such human events, that there's something genetic to the whole thing. For whatever reason though... nothing sends me into purple-faced hysterics faster.

Take this clip for instance. A child is scared by a suction-cup released "springy toy", and his Mom (or some woman) screams in the background. Now it would be funny enough if he simply lurched back with a frightened expression on his face. But no, he also leans away from the action and begins to fall off his chair. I know what you're saying, "Falling off a chair?"... added comedy.

But the cherry on top is the way his feet shoot out (and lock into place) as he tries in vain to keep his balance. Thus, sending him out of the frame completely for a perfect exit. Oh, and there's maybe even an extra chuckle in the fact that he's a Seattle Seahawk fan... a franchise that has 30+ years without a Super Bowl win. I'm still laughing just typing about it.

(NOTE: I've auto-looped the video for easier "multiple viewings")

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