CAT BLOOPERS THAT MADE ME LAUGH

A collection of four (or five) cat bloopers from America's Funniest Home Videos... or AFV for those "tweeners" out there. The first one made me laugh so hard it was embarrassing.

EFFECTS OF HAVING A SMALL PENIS: EXAMPLE #12

A hefty spike in your auto insurance:

DO YOU HAVE A YOUTUBE ACCOUNT?

If not, you should. After all, with a YouTube account you can vote (and comment) on my videos and make them half as popular as that one kid who picks at his scabs on a webcam. Oh, and you can also upload videos and share them with millions upon millions of people.

Go HERE to sign up. Then go HERE to vote (and comment) on the animated and live action videos I've posted. These voting and comment buttons can be found just below the playing video (on YouTube's site)... which you can access by clicking anywhere on the playing videos that are embedded in this blog.

Apparently without votes and comments... my videos are doomed to YouTube obscurity. As it turns out... they're sorted by "views", "comment amounts", and "star quality". The power is in your hands. Sounds powerful, doesn't it?

LAZY AMERICANS?

I just KNEW some of those people could walk!

This is what makes Letterman great!

NEW ANIMATION FROM YOURS TRULY

Anyone who spends any time on YouTube has seen the phenomenon that is "lonelygirl15". She's a sad 15 (or 16) year-old girl who struggles with her overprotective parents. A search for "lonelygirl15" or "LG15" turns up not only several (mega-popular) videos from the young woman, but also tons of replies to her whining. Some are from young people, and are funny. And some are from older men, and are... shall we say, creepy.

Well, my wife and I have been looking for something to do with a dorky/neglected teenage character she created years ago for an on-stage sketch comedy show. She also did several sketches with her on MadTV. However, she retained the rights to the character, and with my animtion skills improving over the years... well, the time seemed right.

So, without further adieu, here's "A REPLY TO LONELYGIRL15 FROM SUSAN WHITFIELD":

"MY NAME IS JOHN DAKER"

This genius little clip is from the early 1990's, and aired on Illinois Public Access. Ms. Reva Cooper Unsicker (that's really her name) is a music teacher who is using the airwaves to bring us the "best and brightest" of her pupils.

Enter John Daker, and watch the pressure wash over him like a tsunami:

I can just see Will Farrell playing this guy in "John Daker: Kareoke Blues".

VAN STONE ROCKS!

I hope I'm not leaking something by saying that Van Stone is a parody "80's metal" band. After all, they happily bill themselves as "Palmdale's #3 Rock Band". And if you've ever been to Palmdale (some 50 miles north of Los Angeles), you'd realize this is no large feat.

I actually worked with Travis Draft (Stone's lead guitarist) a few years back, and was treated to many sessions of watching his 1990's hidden-camera show "Buzzkill". His co-star in that endeavor was none other than Dave Sheridan (the lead singer)... who just might be the most agressive (and talented) hidden camera actor of all time.

At any rate, although Van Stone is hilarious... their music is actually pretty gosh darn (Mom reads this now) good. Their videos are also shot/edited superbly... and are most likely thanks to Mr. Draft's wicked directing skills. So without futher adieu... here's their introduction video and song: "We're Van Stone!"

Also, check out their slick website HERE!

REPUBLICAN RICHARD MARTIN TAKES QUESTIONS...

...and I must say, he's not afraid give straight answers to those who ask.

THERE'S MUCH MORE TO SEE OVER AT RICHARD'S WEBSITE.

NOT SURE WHAT THE PLAN WAS HERE...

...but I guess it's possible that this was deemed a "success"!

MAYBE THE GREATEST LINE EVER...

...courtesy of comedian George Gobel. Sorry, but the previous Johnny Carson clip made me hungry for more. "Lonesome" George had the misfortune of following two "A-listers" (Bob Hope & Dean Martin) on that night's show. Not only does he hold his own... he makes Carson laugh as hard as I've ever seen.

PREPARE TO NATURALLY HALLUCINATE

CLICK PICTURE TO ENTER

From Hoogerbrugge.com... comes this little Flash Animation/Interactive art piece. From the website's own words:

The internal battles of a stand alone man. He tries to deal with the outside world by creating a world on its own. In this personal universum he is free to explore his feelings and fears.

If David Lynch were a Flash Animator... he'd have created this hypnotic series.

HAT TIP TO SCREENHEAD.COM

RODNEY DANGERFIELD ON CARSON

Probably one of the better nights of Rodney's life. He kills during his act, and the "panel discussion". Amazing stuff.

ANATOMY OF A COURT CASE

You MUST watch this video all the way to the end. At the beginning, it seems like a failed experiment. At the end, you're dying to know what happened to the girls in question. Centrifugal force can be a REAL BITCH!

UPDATE: I just found this in the "comments section" under the video. It reads, "this video is not fake the girls are ok i was the one on the moped". Now considering the lack of any grammatical skill in the sentence... and the smarts displayed by the guy in the video... I THINK WE HAVE A MATCH!

A HEADLINE OVER AT "THE SUPERFICIAL.COM"...

As far as I know, David Arquette has no "cool" to lose.

Meet Sleepy McDriver...

...he should really remember his seatbelt. Does anyone else notice the Dale Earnhardt T-Shirt?

UPDATE: Here's a version that may explain the unique angle.

And, the "Benny Hill" remix.

A FEBRUARY HAT TIP TO RYAN

BORAT: WINE TASTING

This might be my favorite Borat segment ever. His "glass holding bit" is one of the funniest things ever! Also, Sascha Cohen told the story (to Conan O'Brien) that he got so drunk during this segment, he later passed out during a bathroom break.

LOADS OF FUN WITH THE "BEATBOXING PARROT"!

This bird would NEVER leave my side!

JOHN STOSSEL: SMACKDOWN!

From a 1984 inteview between 20/20's John Stossel, and wrestling's David Schultz. Stossel reportely won $400,000+ in a settlement, after claiming hearing loss from the slaps. Shultz (aka "Dr. D") was fired from the WWF, even though he claimed he was ordered to attack Stossel by the "higher ups" in the WWF.

Why do people pass out at weddings?

Because there's lots of cameras there... AND it's funny:

IS THIS LEGIT?

For those of you who've watched her, Nancy Grace does not seem to have a good sense of humor. This leads me to believe that this is a legitimate gaffe of the set of her show, as they talk about the Duke Lacrosse Rape Case. Wow, a "run through" might be in order in the future:

Here's another Nancy Grace moment. Elizabeth Smart, the little girl who went missing in Utah for almost a year, makes an appearance to support some legislation. However, Nancy takes advantage and attempts to get an exclusive interview about Elizabeth's past. Watch Nancy's reaction to this young woman putting her in her place.

80's stand-up comedy fuel...

Presenting the two most cited commercials by 1980's stand-up comics:
The clapper:

Life Call (a.k.a. "I've Fallen, and I can't get up.")

VOTE FOR ME!

Hey... so my Fox Promos are at a site called MILKANDCOOKIES.COM, and are in a hard-fought competition at the moment. You see, it takes votes to get you "featured" on their site.

Please go here and vote for them. Click the area near the "plus sign" to vote high.
Many thanks!

110 DEGREES!?!

The following image comes from my desktop widget. I must've missed the "111 degree" moment.Can't talk anymore... must keep sweating!

SPEC FOX PROMOS: LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS

I recently wrote, shot, edited, and blah, blah, blahed these "spec" (a.k.a. done for free) promos for the FOX Network. Bottom line: I'm trying to get more directing work.

HERE'S ALL THREE:

JOURNEY: SEPARATE WAYS

Quite possibly the least expensive video shoot ever.

Laura Ingraham is OUT OF TOUCH!

Laura Ingraham, for those who don't know, is essentially "Ann Coulter Lite". They are both: in their 40s, have blond hair, are way too thin, have never been married, never had children, and are both staunchly behind ANYTHING Republican OR Conservative in nature.

However, one would have thought that both of these women would have time to catch up on pop culture now and then, right? I mean, with no husbands or kids... what the hell else do you have to do after work except watch E.T. and Extra while eating soup from a can over the kitchen sink?

But on Ingraham's show today, in the middle of lambasting George Soros... Ingraham decided to mock the 2004 Democratic campaign tactic of enlisting various entertainers to draw attention. It's here where Ingraham exposes herself as someone completely ignorant of the last 30 years of music... and the last 10 years of bad action movies.

Listen to her butcher the last name of Bruce SpringSTEEN... and overall pronounciation of Ben Affleck. You would think that someone who wrote the book "Shut Up and Sing", would at least know The Boss, right? Oh well, at least she got Bon Jovi.

CLICK PICTURE TO LISTEN

THE BEST OF GEORGE W. BUSH...

...this may be better than the Letterman Top 10: Bush Moments. You decide.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA LEBOWSKI

Pretty ingenious mash-up.

EVEN MORE FOX NEWS CRAP!

This is what happens with YouTube... you search for one thing, and you find FIFTY THINGS! It can really hurt your productivity that way.

At any rate, my favorite former construction worker, Sean Hannity, is at it again. In this clip, they have a 9/11 conspiracy theory professor (Kevin Barrett) from the University of Wisconsin on the program. After a few questions from Alan Colmes, they send in Hannity (with his trusty pen in hand) to "finish him off".

Hannity starts off with his classic "Yes or No" question... and then proceeds directly to name-calling. I don't belive he uses ONE FACT to rebut this guest... but does do the following:

1. Calls the professor a "conspiracy nut".
2. Alludes to the professors "sick bizzare theories".
3. Wishes he had the "The Twilight Zone music" to play under the professor.
4. States (without proof) that "most people think you're a nut".
5. Accuses the professor of holding "extremist views".

Watch this, and see who gets the better of this debate. Has anyone ever found out if Hannity is a college graduate? And why does he need that pen if all he EVER DOES is resort to childish name-calling?

MORE FOX NEWS B.S.!

If you've seen "Outfoxed", you know how FOX NEWS takes buzz words and, throughout their programming day, repeats them over and over until their viewers parrot them like it's fact. Now what could be more helpful to the Republicans this fall than FEAR? Nothing. That's why Fox News is touting the recent Middle East events as "WORLD WAR III"... OR "IV". Depending on who you ask.

HAS BUSH LOST HIS FRIGGIN' MIND?

Watch this video of Dubya sliding up behind the German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and proceed to give her a creepy shoulder massage. She reacts as almost ANY world leader would by raising her hands and making the international symbol for "get your fucking meathooks off of me!"

I really hope this is a well-done sketch of some sort, and not the ACTUAL President of the United States.

CLICK PICTURE TO WATCH

HAT TIP TO RYAN... AND THANKS.

WTF?

Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest 2006

The five-time winner (Kobayashi) was pushed this year by an American who ate 52 dogs! That's an Amercian record folks! Last year he only managed 32 (while Kobayashi ate 49).

AN IMPRESSIVE KNOCKOUT...

"Sugar" Shane Mosley tags Manuel Gomez with a vicious right-hand. Instant K.O.

More genius from Tom Kenny...

...a.k.a. the voice of Spongebob Squarepants.

Tom Kenny factoid: He is a childhood friend of Bobcat Goldthwaite, and both graduated from Bishop Grimes High School in 1980.

KEVIN SMITH AND HIS GIANT SPIDER...

The "Clerks" Director tells his tale of Superman development hell from the late 1990's. Funny stuff.

THANKS SCREENHEAD

PRETTY COOL VIRAL AD FOR ADIDAS...

Here's something that'll make your "greenscreen brain" swim with thoughts. A white dude goes crazy at Venice Beach on three separate basketball courts. On his last jump... you can kinda tell that he used a mini-tramp, and his take off seems to be a bit high. But overall, a masterful job of doctoring video footage.

CLICK PICTURE TO WATCH

The Daily Show on "Net Nutraility"

You must watch. Hearing elderly senators chime in on technology is PRICELESS!

CLICK PICTURE TO WATCH

WORTH 1000

If you've ever been amazed by photo manipulation in advertising/art... then this website is for you. Worth1000.com is a Photoshop community where users compete in different categories to see who's best at... well, Photoshopping. Here are a couple of examples from a "body art" competition:It also has several Photoshop tutorials that are very helpful for novices.

IF YOU DIDN'T SEE STEVE-O DRUNK ON ADAM COROLLA'S TALK SHOW...

...then watch this video of Steve-O drunk on Adam Corolla's talk show. I'm guessing he's .25+ during this interview. Awesome!

MORRISEY: SUEDEHEAD

The rarely seen video for one of Morrisey's greatest hits:

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

Zombie Infection Simulator

Ever wonder how zombies take over a location? Well, wonder no more. Thanks to the Zombie Infection Simulator, you'll know exactly how long you can expect to live once a zombie outbreak happens in your area.

More YouTube stuff...

... via "fishing". This is when you enter a one-word search into youtube.com, and then try to find something interesting from the results. Today's word: FART.

May I present Video #1 on the list:

And maybe the best "lit" fart EVER!

Confused by YouTube?

Let's face it... there's TONS of videos on YouTube, but most of them involve a depressed teenager wallowing about her "mean" parents. However if you'd like to have an easy way to find some great stuff, check out UmmYeah.com, the first site (I know of) that attempts to organize YouTube content into easily searched "channels".

It's where I found the pilot episode of "The Wonder Years". Enjoy!

From Conan O'Brien & Robert Smigel

My good friend Jared C. (not sure if he wishes to remain anonymous) sent me a link to this never-picked-up pilot starring Adam West. It was written/created in 1991 by a young Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel, and never saw the light of day.

MORE SKETCH COMEDY FROM MAURY POVICH

She HATES Pickles!

DAVID HASSELHOFF: "JUMP IN MY CAR"

A few months ago, I posted a bizarre music video by David Hasselhoff. My wife thought it was INTENTIONALLY campy, and therefore less funny. Well, Hasselhoff is at it again:

And if you don't believe he's serious about this stuff... here's the MAKING OF "JUMP IN MY CAR":

COULD THESE TWO STORIES BE CONNECTED?

First from the July 3rd New York Times:

The Central Intelligence Agency has closed a unit that for a decade had the mission of hunting Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenants, intelligence officials confirmed Monday.

The unit, known as Alec Station, was disbanded late last year and its analysts reassigned within the C.I.A. Counterterrorist Center, the officials said.

Then from the Consortium News, and citing Ron Suskind's book "The One Percent Doctrine":

On Oct. 29, 2004, just four days before the U.S. presidential election, al-Qaeda leader Osama bin-Laden released a videotape denouncing George W. Bush. Some Bush supporters quickly spun the diatribe as “Osama’s endorsement of John Kerry.” But behind the walls of the CIA, analysts had concluded the opposite: that bin-Laden was trying to help Bush gain a second term.

Seriously though, how can Bush continue with his "War on Terror" without actively searching for the leader of the group who started the "War on Terror"?

However, with his approval rating still under 40%, I guess Bush appreciates the work of ANY person who still wants him in the Oval Office.

Might we see a cabinet post for bin Laden?

HAPPY FOURTH!

Just in case I forget to post tomorrow. What better way to celebrate our independence than to witness a fireworks factory explosion!

A MILESTONE!

I usually get about 200-300 unique visitors a day. That's up from the 50-100 that were "regulars" a few months ago. Well today I checked my traffic, and this is what I saw:
That's 589 visitors on a Sunday? Usually the weekends are pretty dead around here. Whatever though... I'm not about to look "gift visitors" in the mouth. And as always, I encourage each and every one of you "regulars" to forward this blog to your closest friends OR enemies... whichever you have more of. Remember, it helps fight terrorism... and gingivitis.

TOM KENNY = GENIUS

Tom Kenny has supplied the voice of Spongebob Squarepants for over seven years now. His voice-over skills on "Spongebob" are widely varied... but this character is truly amazing in it's different levels. Here's a scene from the Spongebob movie where "Bob" and Patrick get drunk on ice cream sundaes, and then feel the inevitable hangover a few hours later. It makes me laugh every time.

NEW GRAND THEFT AUTO GAME: SAINTS ROW!

Craig Mitchell, also known as "The Luckiest Guy on the Planet", talks about the new GTA game coming out for the XBOX360 and PS3. What does a guy look like who's job is to play (and obsess about) violent video games? Take a look:
Look at the "thousand-yard stare"... the deep-set eyes... the unwashed hair... this game MUST KICK ASS!

CLICK PICTURE TO WATCH

For those who prefer Windows Media Player... CLICK HERE.

WHY I MUST HAVE AN XBOX 360!: REASON #1

Playing EA Sports' NCAA 2007 in High Definition! It doesn't matter that this "sample" shows Oregon State trouncing the Ducks... what does matter is the friggin' details of Autzen Stadium!

CLICK PICTURE TO PLAY

Warning, this file is in HD and is therefore LARGE... and amazing looking.

Also, here's Notre Dame beating up on USC.

THANKS TO GAMETRAILERS.COM FOR THE VIDEO

Ahhh, the early days of white rap

MC Miker & DJ Sven sing "Holiday Rap" in 1986. You can clearly hear the "Sugarhill Gang" influence here. Also, is it just me... or does "DJ Sven" look like Fred Stoller with a lazy eye and monobrow?

Does size matter? This judge would say "Yes!"

Thanks to my brother, Ryan, comes this lurid tale from an Oklahoma courtroom. It appears that 59 year-old former Judge Donald D. Thompson was so worried about his "sexual performance", he repeatedly used a penis pump DURING TRIALS.

One of the better excerpts from the story: